you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
