Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
