I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
