dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
