I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
