I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Your penis caused this!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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