Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
