I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
