I need help removing her.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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