what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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