When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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