Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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