Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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