i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
