nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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