Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
