She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
