6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
