Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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