nut hugger
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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