I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
