and you said cock pushups were impossible
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
