i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
do herpes really smell.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
