i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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