haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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