Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
