I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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