Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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