therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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