hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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