there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
