I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
