I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
