I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
