He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
