Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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