i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
