I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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