Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
