there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
