So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
