there's paper in my vomit.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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