your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
