Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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