haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
