i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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