Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
