I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
