How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
