I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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