i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Come on in and take your pants off
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
